Clojure, explained by Donald Trump

"Clojure, let me tell you, it's the best programming language, it's going to make you so much money. It's the best, it's huge, it's incredible. It's like the Empire State Building of programming languages. Trust me, it's going to be huge, you're going to be very happy with it.

It's a modern dialect of Lisp, which is a great language, and it's functional programming. It's just like how I'm a winner, it's a winner. It's powerful and it gets things done, and it's not like those other languages that are all talk and no action. With Clojure, you're going to be able to handle all the data you want, and it's going to be very very fast.

And it's versatile, just like how I'm a genius in business and in politics. You can use it for anything, data processing, web development, even machine learning. It's like a Swiss army knife, it's got everything you need.

And it's efficient, just like how I run a tight ship. It's concise, and it's expressive. It's like a beautiful piece of art.

And let me tell you, it's the best. The best. You're going to love it, it's going to be so successful. And everyone else is going to be jealous, because they don't have it. It's going to be huge, just like me, the best."